12/9/2014 1:25:05 AM Rafael: Hey I got a question
12/9/2014 1:25:09 AM Mary Ann: Wat
12/9/2014 1:25:33 AM Rafael: R u quitting wen ur hubby comes home?
12/9/2014 1:25:41 AM Mary Ann: Ofcourse
12/9/2014 1:25:53 AM Rafael: :(
12/9/2014 1:25:57 AM Rafael: For real
12/9/2014 1:26:17 AM Mary Ann: Well he wont like it for sure
It was first about our friendship. My ex was very controlling and very jealous man. I have friends that I know for years and when my ex told me to stay away from them, to not talk with them, to remove them on my facebook, I did, I did all that without thinking twice. And I really cut my connections with my guy friends. But Kboy, we even plan how to stay in touch and keep our friendship, how he will wait until he leaves again so we can talk again, as much as we want again. I promised I'll try to sneak and talk with him once in awhile. I even had a plan about how we can communicate through blog comments without my ex noticing, and he even promised that even though I can't sneak and talk to him all the while that my ex is home, that he will still be there for me, waiting no matter what.
It felt like our time was limited and we end up trying to make the most of it. He wont go to bed until the early morning and will sleep only for a few hours, we talk longer than his sleep. And that's how we got to know each other more.
It was always happy event when I pick my ex up in the airport, I know he doesn't give a lot of fudge about me but I was happy still, mostly for the kids. But that time, i dreaded it, I was scared, it felt like my heart would break.
And then we fell in love, And it was real, strong and true. And I had to have him, I cannot deny it, I cannot help it. And we became a couple without fully thinking about how and what and when. I just know I love him, and i want to love him and hoped that he loves me as much too.
It was a very complicated situation for me, there's not just one person who's gonna be affected. I was scared that there's two hearts I'm gonna hurt most. There's a lot of nights that I cried about it, and some tears I shared with Kboy, he shed some tears too.
We tried to prepare ourselves, we planned, changed the plan, talk about how we will comfort each other. And finally I moved out a week before he came home.
We prepared for the worst. But it all went ok. We were fine, we are stronger, better. Nothing crazy happened. As for my ex, I feel he has accepted it, or at least he didn't do anything crazy.
It took awhile before he returned to the ship, he vacationed for 4 months. The night before he left, he spent a few minutes playing with our daughter and he let her know that he's gonna work in the ship again. And yesterday morning he left. And I wrote the last sentence of my book with him.
It's says "Thank you for our daughter, live well"
And today is my daughter's moving up day from kindergarten, she received a medal and a lot of awards. There was a lot of memories that flashed back, of last years moving up day, and other graduations and other events. I know sometimes I will still look back at it with little tears and I hope he would understand why. I did feel like crying.
And then as soon as we came home, Fiona said "Skype papa ninja". I told her he's already sleeping and that she can show her medal later when he wakes up. And that's what she did as soon as he skyped. My daughter, so smart at age 5, she loves him too.
Our relationship is pretty complicated from the beginning. It almost feels impossible. We are in different countries, with 12 hours time difference, we both have bagages and complications, and the distance and the wait. We will make it through. We have started writing in our book for awhile now, I won't get to write the ending for this book, we don't plan to close it.
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