Truly Blessed

Faith.... Trust.... Patience.... 

Towards each other, and mostly to the almighty who guides, blesses and loves us the most.

In every obstacle that we faced, it's amazing how He made way for us, how things just fall in to it's proper places. 

It makes me truly thankful,  for giving you to me, for making everything okay, forgiving us strength, for always guiding us.

Our plans might not always go as we first thought it would, cause he has better plans for us.

Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

And in our memories, and in our hearts, and with how I'll try to document our love, I hope we will never forget, about everything that makes us US, that makes our love amazing, and how we were blessed and how our life together should be dedicated to the one that gave us to each other.


You're my true love, and I'm so lucky to have known what that is.

Im gonna freaking take the bar exam tomorrow..

Just kidding.  It's 4 am and i just finished,  or should i say finally got tired of reading about divorce stuffs.

Divorce complaint ✅
5 other forms ✅✅✅✅✅


Sleep✅

Too tired to write✅✅

Love ✅✅✅✅✅💟💟💟💟

We are getting a Divorce.

That light bulb moment when you figured out why it never worked with your past relationships before.


Last week was rough for us. I guess it was a milestone too, for our relationship. Most of all for me, about my fears, my scars from the previous relationship I had.

It started with a simple thing, he overslept and it resulted into two days of emotional torture for the both of us. And it end up with us getting divorce, and we are so excited though a bit anxious but I believe I am speaking for the both us when I say we are both happy about it.


In our wedding, I will be wearing a wedding dress made by my husband, no matter how it looks, it will be the most beautiful and important dress of my life. He will be wearing a traditional barong. We will have a waffle wedding cake. We will serve breakfast in our reception, american and filipino and of course there will be loads of bacon which is his favorite. We will have just family, they can wear their pajamas if they want. It will be simple and unique.

I have stopped dreaming about my wedding almost seven years ago, and then start dreaming again, planning, browsing online about ideas, dresses, cake toppers, and then as the months go by the dreams started to become blurry and I'm starting to get scared.


It has been raised a couple of time before, about when he's going to get divorced, the first time was December last year, and now on our 6th month together, nothing is filed yet.

It starts to get frustrating for me, I start feeling all this doubts and start remembering the past like how it happened and how things are starting to look similar. It's like history repeating itself. And I found myself in the point where I almost stopped believing and it was awful. Because all the future I dreamed is getting farther, blurry and is starting to look impossible.


I have believed that we have a strong relationship, stronger than most, but in that moment, i felt defeated, Like the future of our relationship is now all up to him, and he is not doing anything about it. All the emotions was just crazy.


Regarding his divorce, I was only focused on what I feel. I also set my own line not to cross. And that was not good. I created this wall around his divorce, a wall that I tried to peak in to, felt like I wanted to jump over it, and the wall we finally shattered.


He did asked me before to help him out with his divorce, I thought it was something I should stay away from, something he should do on his own. I now realize that it were scars left from my ex, back when he told that his annulment was none of my business.


And there are a lot of challenges, circumstances around his divorce. And I don't know what was happening what he was feeling and why things are not started.


It was really a mess and we were almost emotionally drained. And what solved it was being honest of what we truly feel, of what we truly need and that is each other's support. I needed to  be part of it, to know what is going on cause our future together depends on it, and he needed my help with it. And it also made me realize that he was right, he has been committed to me as a husband should. He ask me about big decisions like buying a motorcycle, he takes care of me and my daughter, he protects us in his own way even though he is very far.


And now its our business, we will face it together, I'll help and support him with everything. And we over came it. The elephant was out of the room. Things are much brighter. And my dreams are there again.


A dress made by him, a waffle wedding cake, tons of bacon and having his name.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm not all about the wedding. I don't love him because I'm gonna marry him, I'm gonna marry him because I love him. They said marriage is about commitment, I believe I have that already, but,,,,, I'll take the wedding too! LOL!


So what's his is mine, what's mine, is, umm.. yeah... his too (just kidding!) So it's our divorce. Does it make sense?


That light bulb moment when you figured out why it never worked with your past relationships before. Even though you tried so hard... Because I was meant to be here, meant to be in this time, meant to learn all those life lessons, meant to have Fiona, meant to play the game clash of clan, meant to find him, meant for him, meant to be.


I love you very much my number 1 reader! I am so lucky to have you. And I promise there's no giving up, no matter what it takes, however long, no matter how hard, Till we share dentures. Mahal na mahal kita aking goy..

Like every other, but extra ordinary....

If it sounds too good to be true then it is not true. If its too easy, then you don't value it much.


Like very other relationship, ours needs work too. And being a way from each other, it needs more effort.


And we have been through a lot, already...


The first problem we had to face was with me ending things with my daughter's father and moving out. Having that issue early in the relationship made us stronger. We were already fighting for our love. Faced with a lot of complications, emotions and possible consequences. At that time, we tried to not talk about the future, we avoid to share plans, we were on the edge. And when I'm finally out of the house, when I ended up things with my ex, that's when we started making plans.


I remember how I think he's trying to convince me how New Jersey is a pretty place, he sent me pictures of the trees changing its color. About how government is way better.  It was all subtle. But heck I'll move to a tundra, or a  dessert, wherever I can be with him.


We never stopped being best friends. We still talk about our darkest secrets, we talk about our feelings, we talk about our plans. And we are always there for each other. We have secrets that we hide from everyone else. I had my darkest secret told, and I cried about it, and he helped me, accepted it, put closure on it, I never thought I could find someone like that, someone I could share everything, someone that can comfort me and make me stronger. I hope that will never change, cause I'm planning to marry my best friend.


That's another problem we have, marriage. He is still married. Of course he is planning to solve that. He has been separated from his legal wife for many years now, she's even married to some else already but she didn't file for divorce. It is hard to trust for it happened to me before. And I'm trying, but mostly I'm justscared. It had been an issue a couple of times, I cried about it, he cried about it, I cried about it some more offline. I love him very much, and I feel and believe that he loves me very much too, loves me enough to want to be with me for the rest of our lives. I have faith in our love and therefore I trust him. And hopefully it's gonna be done soon. ( Cause otherwise I'm gonna start sending him pictures of trees here, and be aggressive in convincing him he can move here instead.. LOL! )


I did him wrong too. How stupid am I to mix up his birthday and my ex's birthday twice. I can never say sorry enough for that. They are both September and only a year difference in age. I knew it hurt him. I'm still so sorry about it. For a whole a day, I kept repeating his birthday in my head. I'm not going to forget it anymore. promise!


And there's the distance and time difference. It was recently an issue. His nights are my mornings and vice versa. We talk everyday, for hours, it's never enough. I got spoiled I think and he was really exhausted lately. I was bummed about him not waking up for our skype dates. I always thought I was someone who is not petty, I don't sweat the small stuff. I guess it wasn't small for me, or I became petty. But you know, he's the cutest when he thinks he's in trouble.. Like a little boy but trying to have a poker face. I guess I'm very silly to feel bad about him sleeping instead of talking with me, when he spends all his possible waking hours talking with me.


Like every other couples, we have problems, but our situation, our love, and what we see in the future, is extra ordinary.


For two people who are not physically together, I bet you we are stronger than most couples who sees each other every day. Our sticker kisses, kissing the laptop screen and our raiding, we do what we do, and it's all real.


And the wait.. Probably the hardest part, but the most important.


There's no definite time, I don't know when, or how long. I just know that when I watch him sleep, I wanna be next to him, when I close my eyes to sleep, I want him to be next to me. And I know that I love him with every grain of my being, and everything is worth it.