If it sounds too good to be true then it is not true. If its too easy, then you don't value it much.
Like very other relationship, ours needs work too. And being a way from each other, it needs more effort.
And we have been through a lot, already...
The first problem we had to face was with me ending things with my daughter's father and moving out. Having that issue early in the relationship made us stronger. We were already fighting for our love. Faced with a lot of complications, emotions and possible consequences. At that time, we tried to not talk about the future, we avoid to share plans, we were on the edge. And when I'm finally out of the house, when I ended up things with my ex, that's when we started making plans.
I remember how I think he's trying to convince me how New Jersey is a pretty place, he sent me pictures of the trees changing its color. About how government is way better. It was all subtle. But heck I'll move to a tundra, or a dessert, wherever I can be with him.
We never stopped being best friends. We still talk about our darkest secrets, we talk about our feelings, we talk about our plans. And we are always there for each other. We have secrets that we hide from everyone else. I had my darkest secret told, and I cried about it, and he helped me, accepted it, put closure on it, I never thought I could find someone like that, someone I could share everything, someone that can comfort me and make me stronger. I hope that will never change, cause I'm planning to marry my best friend.
That's another problem we have, marriage. He is still married. Of course he is planning to solve that. He has been separated from his legal wife for many years now, she's even married to some else already but she didn't file for divorce. It is hard to trust for it happened to me before. And I'm trying, but mostly I'm justscared. It had been an issue a couple of times, I cried about it, he cried about it, I cried about it some more offline. I love him very much, and I feel and believe that he loves me very much too, loves me enough to want to be with me for the rest of our lives. I have faith in our love and therefore I trust him. And hopefully it's gonna be done soon. ( Cause otherwise I'm gonna start sending him pictures of trees here, and be aggressive in convincing him he can move here instead.. LOL! )
I did him wrong too. How stupid am I to mix up his birthday and my ex's birthday twice. I can never say sorry enough for that. They are both September and only a year difference in age. I knew it hurt him. I'm still so sorry about it. For a whole a day, I kept repeating his birthday in my head. I'm not going to forget it anymore. promise!
And there's the distance and time difference. It was recently an issue. His nights are my mornings and vice versa. We talk everyday, for hours, it's never enough. I got spoiled I think and he was really exhausted lately. I was bummed about him not waking up for our skype dates. I always thought I was someone who is not petty, I don't sweat the small stuff. I guess it wasn't small for me, or I became petty. But you know, he's the cutest when he thinks he's in trouble.. Like a little boy but trying to have a poker face. I guess I'm very silly to feel bad about him sleeping instead of talking with me, when he spends all his possible waking hours talking with me.
Like every other couples, we have problems, but our situation, our love, and what we see in the future, is extra ordinary.
For two people who are not physically together, I bet you we are stronger than most couples who sees each other every day. Our sticker kisses, kissing the laptop screen and our raiding, we do what we do, and it's all real.
And the wait.. Probably the hardest part, but the most important.
There's no definite time, I don't know when, or how long. I just know that when I watch him sleep, I wanna be next to him, when I close my eyes to sleep, I want him to be next to me. And I know that I love him with every grain of my being, and everything is worth it.
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